Cheating on pre-employment tests: Just How Stupid Are You?

I see this all the time personally, and hear about it from hiring managers and HR folks constantly.

Just what the hell are you thinking when you cheat on a pre-employment test?!??! Clearly you're not. Why is it only dumb people fancy themselves clever enough to get away with this?

What is it that these Job Hunting Morons are doing? Well, they.....

• Turn around and retake a pre-screen that they are told is monitored for security and only one test per certain period of time is allowed. Most of these tests say that you will be disqualified for employment if caught repeating.
• Use a fake name to "warm up", then pass with a ridiculously inflated score in an inconceivable amount of time. Never mind that a lot of these tests record your system information, install cookies or track your IP address.
  
• After they get caught cheating, they think if they re-apply after the time period is over, they have a chance of being hired. This is especially laughable for applicants applying at banks and mortgage companies. Future identity thieves of America, eh?
  
• Make up unplausable and improbable stories to try and get another chance. (Perhaps we'll list them in the future or post examples that are sent in later)Do you NOT think that the computer records more than just a score, you dumbass? The tests I work with can tell me the millisecond you backspaced to correct your typing. To the ones who get mad and complain, believe me, this DOES get recorded in your employment application records. You will be mocked, and you won't be hired---even if they do let you test again.
• They use middle names, mis-spell names by "accident" to try and avoid detection. Comical.

My nine year old scores better than some of these people do........on their second try. That's scary.

Look, if you're smart enough to cheat and avoid detection, you're probably actually qualified enough to fake your way through the interview and into the position. But you've got to do better than the above example. In my personal experience for one company, I see maybe ten of these a week! Hot Latina has tighter security at the entrance to avoid those double-testers, but she sees the same approximate number of whiners and liars each week.

Morons aplenty, folks.